heya, back to school… lousy monday… loads of stuff waiting for me to do… stupid bus 18 refuse to come at its usual time, causing me to miss the empty train from bedok to boonlay…. had to settle for a sardine packed train instead…
haha, The Guy hope to catch the same 179 as me today, but alas, he missed it… oh well…
i dunno wat is wrong with me… i get emotional when discussing things… guess i am not a good communicator after all… haiz… i really dunno la… even if i change, will pple notice? will pple ever notice the person change for the better or simply ignore the change?
Since the latest fiasco, i shall not elaborate… I have kinda lost confidence in designing le… not completely lost, but very shaken… i dunno if i should continue or give it up… haiz… i dunno la… i design… design and design.. yet no matter how much i do… its simply not good… maybe i am just not good at it after all… *fyi: i started designing only a few mths* maybe its because i am still a rookie… with not much experience at all, if any…
u may wonder why i am so pessimistic, thats because i simply cannot find any confidence in my designs… haiz… i dunno…
will The Gal give up on desiging? that qn i leave it open…
maybe i should learn to seat down and listen patiently and evaluate it carefully, and dun open my mouth to say anything before that… if pple are so scared of me… so much so that they dunno how to approach to talk to me… am i that scary? will i eat u up? =(
If i change for the better, can u accept? will u be able to see it? if my efforts are not going to be recognised, why should i try? but then again, it might be worth a try… maybe i let my heart rule over my mind…
sometimes i get really pissed… and when i get angry, no point talking to me cos i will never accept anything, even if its good… see? thats me… thats me when i get pissed off…
I am still feeling raw… scarred and have lost any ounce of confidence in my designing hobby… i have no courage to pick up the tablet and start drawing again… =( anyone can gimme that courage?
maybe The Guy is right, putting things in a nicer way might be the easiest way for pple to listen… that works no doubt… I cried last night, simply because i am so upset and angry at myself… but then frankly speaking, i have not much confidence (if there is any in the first place) to design any more work…
i mean, i am venturing into some unknown area… clueless… and dunno what to expect… i know pple will critque my work, abit too harsh at times… its hard for me to accept it for now… but without criticism, my design will never improve and grow…
will i still be accepted? will i change for the better? my self-esteem has taken a tough beating as well as my confidence… i am lost, confused and dunno what to do… am i good? am i bad? am i simply so hard to understand? am i that scary? am i… am i? the thing is i dunno… i really dunno…
i get defensive when pple� push me to the edge… when i am upset…� gentle and soft approach works, but not hard approach… i will snap back harder than ever… maybe thats the way i developed to protect myself… oh gosh, i have never felt so vunerable since entering uni…
too sheltered liao i think… time to grow up le… this august turning 21. and the moment u hit 21, life changes. u are a full grown adult… i just simply wanna break down and cry out loud for once… at least let my emotional baggage all out… maybe thats the way for me to really calm down… �
things come fast and hard… i find it a bit tough to cope with so many things… esp sleeping late…as in really late… maybe most of u are used to it… but i am not… in fact i feel like i am already sick… but then time ticks by… =S till i just explode…often in the wrong way…
i ought to self reflect i guess, so that i could change for the better… =’)
and if i have offended u in anyway, i am sorry.
�
feeling sorry,
The Gal
Nicole
these days, i am lacking sleep… my health has suffered alot, not that i am complaining cos i know everyone is facing the same thing also… feeling whole body ache like crazy… prelude to falling sick?
seems to me i overclock my engines… and i never had to abck at poly, i guess being in uni is sure so much more scary… >< i dun feel superhuman… Instead I feel … I feel…
The Guy and The Gal are too burnt with DD…. very very very burnt… and plans keep changing… it makes me feel too insecure… frustrated… and that all my work and effort is unnoticed, updates dun reach me… have to relie on others.. i am invisible, and i think i gonna love it.
nth postive can describe me now… i only feel awfully negative…
The Gal
Nicole
Today is Sunday, and that means its the end of vacation… =( well, on the other hand, which means exams are coming~!! :S
been furiously mugging, revising my work… somehow, manage to be clearer on some concepts but am still blur on others, thus have to really buck up …
yesterday slept early…Â haiz… cramp and stuff, u know what i am driving at… well, feeling a lil burnt from all the designing stuff … and then have to study… =)
things to do
haha… mostly done ba..except shopping… =) hmm, wat should i buy and where should i go? =) hehe… hmmm….
I think I should drop my eca next acad year and apply for a work and study scheme, wanna earn some side pocket money, of course, studies should not be neglected. This extra income would come in handy cos, to pay for my bills, extra expenses… so i need not burden my parents so much… =’)
It would be good, letting me have more financial independence as well as gaining more experience before i go out and work… that would be better i guess…
ciaoz
The Gal
Nicole
Read some posts in the maple sea forum and found some interesting stuff about eggs… haha they hatch into random stuff every month….
took them from the following url:
http://www.pickle-green.com/egraphics/main.php?id=eggs
perhaps i should try..
These are the 5 eggs which are available for adoption, and let us see wat the hatch into on the 1st march 06 =)
haha…
egg-hatching
The Gal
Nicole
Uni Life sure is hectic, not to mention countless homework, assignments, revision and of course, the dreaded exams. Haha… well this is sure not a rosy picture… and being sleep deprived is awful…
Still missing my sleep though… =S and fall sick le… haiz… wat to do… hectic lifestyle…
Talked to The Guy, and we agreed to help each other, as well as motivate each other, spur each other to acheive new heights.
Congrats to The Guy, whom he and his team managed to get approval to the proposal for his Inter-Sem subject – DIP. =)
As for me, I am in for more studying and gearing up to learn as much as I can, even if they are not covered in my work… cos learning never stops… =)
to The Guy: Thanks so much, for being there for me… =)
Sleep deprived and Sick
The Gal
Nicole
whee, today marks the 2nd monthiversary of The Guy and The Gal. =)
on another note, the one week break is almost over…. manage to get something done… revised my logic design as well as my Java, but still stuck at the LinedList >< … hopefully during weekends can do discrete maths…
so far so good… and i am down with slight flu and cough… :S
The Gal
Nicole
heya. it was a wunderful day yesterday… The Guy came over to my house for dinner, and the chef of the day is none other than me, The Gal. haha… I cooked udon soup for him, mum and sister. The Guy dropped by after going to NAFA for publicity for DD’06. What a surprise, he brought chocolates, marshmallows (how he know i like them ^^) as well as a can of Rambutans stuffed with pineapple =)
See Receipe (end of post), thats how i cooked my dinner =) haha… preparation of the dinner only started after The Guy came and settled down. Poor thing, he din had lunch, so The Gal went down and bought coffee as well as popiah for him. =)
Was shelling the prawns and The Guy decided to try his hands on it. Haha, so got him an apron to wear, lest he dirty his shirt, and off he goes… The moment he touched the cold, raw and slimy prawn, he went, “Eeek” haha… it was a funny sight, cos he was not used to touching raw stuff at all…. never cook at all, so wat ya expect? haha… but then he tried… and managed to shell the prawn and alas, took off the tail of the very first prawn he peeled… haha…. (in case u wunder, the tailess prawn went into his bowl of udon) =)
haha after that, he stayed in the kitchen, watching me cook… =.= haha,, no pressure at all though… hee… cos i can show him i am capable in the kitchen =) hehe….
Then i started to cook… hehehe… and garnished it with loads and loads of stuff (picts will be uploaded later, if i have the time)…
Verdict: Everyone said the udon taste good =) hee… The Guy seem to like it very much…
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Recipe: Udon Soup (Serves 4)
Ingredient set A
* Cabbage (Sliced into small pieces)
* Carrot (Sliced into small pieces)
* Mushrooms (Soaked, Stalk removed)
Ingredient set B
* 4 packets of udon
* Prawns (shelled and deveined, tail intact)
* Eggs
* Spring onions (chopped finely)
* Seaweed (dried)
Steps:
1. Boil set A for about 45 mins, for the soup stock.
2. Scald the prawns till cooked. Set aside.
3. Scald the udon till cooked. Drain water and set aside.
4. Boil the soup stock and add in the Egg. Boil till the whites are cooked and pour all the soup into the bowl.
5. Garnish with spring onions and seaweed.
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haha, thats how i cooked my dinner yesterday. and its first time cooking a proper meal for The Guy. =) hope he enjoyed the dinner =)
Hahaha….
Tata
The Gal
Nicole
humid thursday…argh, and heck, break is almost over before i know it, wat have i done? nth much though… :S which is very WORRYING….
haiz…
haiz…
haiz…
i forsee myself losing sleep, losing my life, losing my sanity, as well as losing my health… kill me please… so many to do…Â i dun even have time to study… =(
and tml is The Guy and The Gal 2nd monthniversay… i still love u The Guy… =)
Feeling very pressurized… i dunno how to deliever…Â its all so rushed… and i dun want to be blamed for hindering the progress… =(
DEADLINES, DEADLINES and MORE DEADLINEs… can leave me alone? dun bother abt me… i am not worth it…
The Gal
Nicole
Heya peeps, just came back from the industry tour at IHPC (Institute of High Power Computing), by a*STAR. There were 12 of us in all.
We were taken to 2 of the facilities. Cave and COVE. Cave is a facility that allows projection of 3d images in a small cave with 3 walls and a floor, with the help of Crystal Eyes, a special googles that allows 3d image projection. its real cool… i enjoyed the images being projected..it seems that u are going through it… u are in IT… wow…
we also saw how the images were projected… and tat the equipment are so ex… omg… its ultra cool… and its like… out of this world. the only facility that offers 3d experience is at IHPC.
then we proceeded to the COVE. where they showed us very high res images. making use of 4 projectors simultaneously showing as a single screen, when each and every single projector were controlled by a PC. =)
that is way cool … unfortunately, the room is very cold… :S haha… after that, The Guy and The Gal went for dinner and off they went home separately…
The Gal is cooking dinner tml and has invited The Guy over. Will he like the food?
=)
The Gal
Nicole
