It’s only after VillageTalk, then I realize that the call to persue my dreams has become even stronger. The urge to dare to dream, and realize the dream cries out even more frequently, but what exactly is stopping me? Money? Support? or the Pressure of being mocked at? or being Laughed at ? I really don’t know. Oh isit I don’t have the guts to do it? There are fears which are stopping me. I am really afraid. Call me chicken or something, but sometimes I find it so hard to even try to chase the dream… To make it blatantly simple, I failed even before I tried.

How much am I to risk everything ? How willing am I to work for it ? I really don’t know. Perhaps I am scared about the loans to payback when I graduate. Perhaps. I can’t survive without a payslip. I want to work freelance but I am not skilled enough.

I don’t know whats my next step, for I am still searching for the courage and guts to take my first step.

Should I continue to dream? Should I start chasing a dream? Should I ?

Or should I just risk it all and try?

The Gal
Nicole

This song inspires me. Or rather, I am able to associate the meanings with myself…

MetroLyrics

Linkin Park What I’ve Done Lyrics
In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

[Pre-Chorus]
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

[Chorus]
I’ve faced myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
Well I cleaned this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

[Pre-Chorus]
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

[Chorus]
I’ve faced myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

For what I’ve done
I’ll start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done

[Chorus]
I’ve faced myself
To cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done

What I would like to ask myself is… What I’ve Done?

The Gal
Nicole

A lazy sunday… with a cup of mocha in hand at home, what bliss! My grouse would be the hot weather! Its so hot !! Omg. The bad news of not getting a room allocated to me during stage 1 has just begun to sunk in. Truly, it sucks. Oh well, I am now placed in Stage 2 and hopefully, I will be allocated a room soon. Here are some excerpts of the letter…

I refer to your application for admission into the Hall of Residence in the academic year 2007/08 and regret to inform you that you are unsuccessful in your application. Your application is placed in Stage 2 as you do not meet the minimum ECA requirement. For your information, the General Cut-off weight (GCW) is: male GCW is 14 and female GCW is 13 .

I am not very happy that the General Cut-off weight is so high. Sigh, it matters that I did not have an ECA, and that’s because its to stop my grades from sliding further. =X

However, you will be put on the Stage 2 waiting list which is ranked in descending order of weights. This list will be processed when the last person on the Stage 1 waiting list with minimum ECA requirement is offered a place. Should there be vacancies in any of the Halls in the course of the entire academic year; the first person on the list will be notified and so on until the last person on the list is made an offer. Choice of Halls and rooms will be disregarded.

Does this mean I need not apply during ad-hoc application? since I am placed on waiting list?

All these leave me with disappointment.

The Gal
Nicole