The Gal – Nicole

I am not happy with the way some things were in Tech65.

Like everyone ends up being late for recording on Saturday… Imagine being the only one waiting there for at least 30 mins on a few occasions? And recording never starts on time.

And how we search and read for many tech articles that majority don’t make the cut into the episode? Darn, sometimes I wish these stories could be in… But whatever Daniel says, its set. Oh well.

Sometimes there’s too much opinion about something, that ends up with views clashing between members, escalating till it gets really bad… especially Mac vs PC! Oh gosh, that battle never ends. 

And finally, being the only girl in the group, I get bullied by all the guys. Ewww.

Thus, I decided to quit. I think there are more things waiting for me to be done than being stuck with something unhappy.

Nicole

It’s 30th of March.

Sitting down all alone in the living room, with a laptop, and a whirling ceiling fan, I was in a deep in thought, along with a nice rhythm of tap tap tap from one of the best keyboards I ever used.

Reflecting that is. Reflecting upon my feelings, the journey of life, and is there anything I can do for myself? Yes, I am missing the boyfriend pretty badly, but it won’t be long before he comes back. Small matter.

I always wondered if I am the cause of some things that happen to people around me, regardless good nor bad. And no, I am simply not referring to anything. I guess when reflective mood hits me, it hits. No triggers, nothing.

Looking back, perhaps 7 years before, marks the start of something new. A new me. A side of me that change alongside growing up. Gone were the days of anger, hate, and pretty much negative feelings, that I could almost end up killing a person. I was pretty violent, full of anguish.

Oh yes, I was totally different from what I am now and in the past. Friend whom known me from poly onwards would know the difference. I had my dark past… I gone through stuff I wish I wasn’t going through then, but now, it’s a blessing indeed to have gone through it.

With deepest thanks I can give, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being able to accept me as who I am. And thank you for being there for me when I am at my lowest point.

To be awfully sure, I wasn’t really going to launch a thank you speech here in this post.

Almost a quarter of the year has passed. Wow.

Nicole

Our greatest glory consist not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Oliver Goldsmith

Indeed, one’s glory is to rise every time we fall.

It’s a quote I stumbled upon, and I thought of putting it up here to share it with you

Nicole

Ok, something less depressing to fill this blog space!

Music by Utada Hikaru – This is Love.

I like it, though I don’t really understand the lyrics lol~ but I like the uplifting rhythm. It might just help chase my the blues mood away.

Each time I fall, I will pick myself up and move on, and this is one of the times I fell. It just gotten harder to get up, but my friends rallied around me, and got me back to my feet. I will take baby steps and become happier and stronger than before.

Nicole

It’s a bright and cheery Saturday… at least for my area of residence in the far eastern side of Singapore. Yup, I woke up at 8.45 am today… having 7 hours of rest, and suffice to say, the body and mind feels ok, though tired out physically.

Today happens to be Earth Hour also, from 8.30 pm to 9.30 pm. Lights out to give your vote ok?

I won’t be at SMB6, but to the folks attending, have a good time ya?! Will join in from the next SMB.

It’s almost the end of March, and it’s crazy, time really flies. Not to mention that exams are coming in the blink of an eye. Tell me about it. Oh well.

And yes, I’ve loads and loads of plans to work on upon graduation. Stay tuned!

Nicole

At this point in time, thank you for being understanding to my situation of the coming weeks. Till 5th May is over, I am more or less stuck in a sticky situation. And I know its temporary.

Thanks to all whom offered their listening ear and support. It means a lot to me, and I am glad to have you around.

I have taken a plurk vacation, and a twitter hiatus. The only thing that I can’t give up, is this blog, because it has been my source of maintaining sanity.

I have some reviews that I have yet to release, and I feel apologetic, but I thank you for your understanding…

Last but not least, I know I am not the only one going through this, and I will be able to ride out of this.

With love,
Nicole

It never fails to make me tear up and cry.

But I still love this song anyway…

Nicole

What I have completed:

Quiz preparation (not through, but the least of my concerns), Distributed Computing Project.

What I have not completed:

Intelligent Agents Project (got started though), Simulations and Modeling (have to plant myself down and get the damn report done), and FYP.

Good news: No amendments required for the FYP Report. Thank goodness.

Bad news: Time is running out.

What I can do: Sleep just enough (No lazing in bed). Start exam revisions in the train. Work harder, faster and smarter.

Will I be able to finish all these? I hope so.

Am feeling kinda zombied. yeah. Bf is away to London and Italy. I miss him. Aww.

Nicole

I never felt so overwhelmed by the current workload and the pressure I am facing. Yes, so the term is coming to an end, yet I still feel so strangled and tangled within the work that I have to finish. Whatever comes after graduation, is already planned, and it’s a matter of time before I run with that plan.

But prior to the exams, being overwhelmed and stressed isn’t helping much either… Thus I end up not being myself.

I know I’m not my usual self. Or rather, this is a stark contrast of what I used to be like.

I will be back, hopefully, maybe stronger and happier…

Nicole

Work is piling
Pressure is piling

Stress hitting the limit
Time is limited too

I’m tired

How long more must I endure?
When will I ever sigh with relief that its all over?

I’ve pushed away appointments, gathering, meetings
Just to spend time with you, my dear workload.
So give me a sign, that all I am doing is worth it.

I’m sorry you haven’t seen me smile,
or laugh my hardest.
Am just trying hard to stay sane. Perhaps trying just too hard

Nicole