First time for everything I suppose. Kinda relishing the experience and the sense of satisfaction that comes along with it. Suffice to say, I still have doubts about myself but they are slowly fading away. Somehow I know I can do it, its a matter of when and how.

I just came back from taking Angel to the vet for her annual checkup and vaccination. Well, it’s my first visit to the vet, and quite amazed at seeing the type of dogs and cats others keep. Angel is M’s cat, but I treat her like mine. My folks do not allow me to bring a cat home, or I would have done that eons ago.

As of right now, I think everything is getting back on track slowly, and I am very thankful and happy about it. Only time will tell, but I guess things are in a good start for now. I realized that there are small and subtle changes in my life, that’s making life bearable and giving me the courage to live on, and be happy. It still isn’t easy at times, though at least the thought of negativity is reducing. Its good to know that I’m surrounded by people who loves me, and care for me. That to me, is an important aspect of my life.

I’ve also learned that I cannot please everyone, but the first person I can please is myself.

Ok. enough of my random rubbish. Time to sit down and start reading.

Nicole

The month of August this year, two thousand and eleven, is truly a month of endings, and new beginnings. I never felt that rush of emotions for a very long time, and I miss it. Really.

In this month alone, I quit my job of two years and three months, bidding farewell to the IT industry that I was trained to work in since in the Polytechnic and University. But at the end of the day, I realized that this was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. In fact, I did not do very well in my degree, getting by with a series of C’s and D’s, and at one time, even failing a module. So what if I hold a Computer Science Degree? Its like what the rest would coin the term as, “toilet paper”.

It is a known fact that at least 85% of the people who entered their chosen degree course end up doing something else, and yours truly is now part of this percentage too. However, I do not regret the switch to my new career path. Why? The fact that I am so unhappy with my first job that I had to do something for myself, or risk a trip to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH). You could probably figure out how awful I felt, or never really understand. That’s alright. I’m learning to put the unhappy past behind me and move on.

I’ve also came to terms with myself, and it still is quite a journey, to realize something about myself every few days or so. I have not lost my temper that often as I used to in the past. And I am leading a much more satisfying and fruitful life than before. Perhaps, this is a fitting ending before the beginnings of age 26.

Whilst penning this post, I’m 2 days shy turning 26. It may be well be a turning point of my life. My counselor is right. I’ve to find something what I like to do and be happy doing it. It does helps me get through the low points of working more easily, and having a cheery office helps, with all that bright colors and an awesome smack in the city center location, I really can’t ask for more. The road ahead will not be smooth, but I am more prepared than I was a few years ago.

Nicole

so july is finally here… and this officially marks the second half of 2011. pardon me for not filling in this blog throughout june, as loads of personal stuff has cropped up and leaving me grappling and coming to terms with it.

its no mystery to what has happened, just that the severity was quite unexpected. but i hope it will be a thing of the past soon… and so, this post will mark the start of a proper recovery.

as i slowly get back to writing gradually, i will also take time to indulge in more things that i want to do. its a good way to destress i reckon.

nicole

Bought these accessories at The Pigeonhole flea market… and yes, I’ve been lazy, only uploading these photos today. These deserves a mention, for they’re absolutely pretty!

Bought them from SHUP(G), and I pretty much fell for most of their accessories, as they feature quirky and fun looking stuff into necklaces, bracelets, brooches.

Do check them out! Of course, the accessory in this photo isn’t for myself, its for the sister…

And this beauty was made possible thanks to the customization that Dawne from Earring Addict made for me.

By now, you would have realize that I love camera shaped pendants, and this addition is no surprise.

Nicole

Thus marks a beginning of a new quarter of 2011. Gee, the first 3 months came and flew by so quickly. Goodness.

Nonetheless, its been quite an adventure of sorts for me, apart from the on going hulabalu…if you know what I mean. I could probably declare that the worst is over, or maybe not. In any case, it won’t be very nice to jinx my chances.

I’m glad that the week is almost over and looking forward to spend time in the outdoors. Its good to be able to bask in the lovely sunshine, amongst the call of insects, lush trees and priceless company. Blissful eh?

Truth be told, I don’t know how many enjoy reading my daily muses on my blog, but I will still write them anyway, apart from other content found here as well.

May you have a great weekend ahead, and excuse me while I disconnect to connect once more.

Nicole

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Perhaps we are all too connected to the social networks these days that everything seem to happen too fast too furious, or rather, being overwhelmed with loads of information online.

These days, I’m filtering the information as fast as I see them. If there is something I would like to read, I would book mark it or simply add a favorite to my twitter. Its easier that way to backtrack and read it in pockets of spare time.

However, when I disconnect myself from the Internet, it becomes all too clear that majority of the chaos are removed, leaving me more time to sort myself out, enjoying connecting with people that matter.

And in a nutshell, I do start to feel better, at the very least, preventing myself from sliding further down depression.

I wouldn’t dare say that I’ve completely walked out of it, though I am making progress at preventing it from recurring in the future. Its for myself, and I’m gonna be darn proud of it when I walk out of this darkness.

Well, if anyone of you are looking for me, you know of ways to reach me, apart from social networks. (I will still check my social networks from time to time, but won’t be updating too frequently).

Alright, this wraps up my little update and off I am to prepare photographs for uploading.

Nicole

Lyrics after the jump!

This song has been on my repeat playlist for 2 days in a row. I don’t know if its the infectious rhythm that got me hooked to it, or that I simply love the energy and vibe from the music video. Which ever it is, as long as it puts me in groovy mood, it’s awesome!

more…

The weekends came and went… marking the end of one week and the start of another. What seems mundane of just 2 rest days amidst 5 hard grinding days of work is marked with sheer emotions from an end of a spectrum to the other. It’s as if the raging hormones (for a lack of a better word) never cease to work its wonders.

I also learnt new things about myself, its scary yet liberating at the same time, perhaps there is more I must do for myself. In the meantime, life goes on as per normal as it always does, and may it pave a route for recovery.

Nicole

March is here!

I’m glad to put the troubled month of February behind me. Triple whammy of sorts hit me, severely throwing me off balance.

Took a while to find my two feet and get back on. Making plans is not easy, but execution won’t be easy either. Either way, I’ve bitten the bullet.

I shall not elaborate too much at this point, lest its jinxed by unwanted factors.

Would much rather focus on healing one step at a time and be a happier, stronger person.

I may have been killed, but I am clawing my way up bit by biy.

Nicole

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

-Taken at Pinnacle at Duxton

A new work week has arrived. Some would say the new work week for the lunar year… and indeed… after 4 long days of break, it’s a bit difficult to kick start the engine.

Now excuse me while I douse myself with coffee.

Have a lovely day!

Nicole

PS: Shall write more when time permits